Tales Of WTF
by haku hatake
Summary: Humor/Adventure/Romance. This Is the unrated Version of what happens after the world is regenerated which means that this story is ridiculously crazy, random, and funny. T for violence and language and some themes.
1. What is with this story?

**Warning**_- This stort is rated T. So that means there is no sexual contact but there is Language and some violence so beware._

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--Alright; well what happens after the worlds are regenerated? Every one will live their lives normally. Well normal can't even describe it. This is the unrated/uncut version of what happens next. What does that mean? It means that this story will be ridiculously funny, crazy, and random. There will be romance. You don't like a few of these pairings.? To bad. I do. As you can see they are the most common ones. Except the last one. XD Just simply focus on the ones you do like. But remember; this story is mostly humor. Parings consist of;

Lloyd and Colette.

Kratos and Raine.

Genis and Presea.

Zelos and Sheena.

Yuan and Martel. A little

Mithos and Seles? A little Better then Genis and Mithos lol!

**Character definitions**

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_Lloyd Irving_- The main hero of the story. He acts like an idiot and is totally obsessed with Colette. He loves weird music like The Numa Numa song and Peanut Butter Jelly Time. He bugs his dad, Kratos, to spend time on father and son stuff.

_Colette Brunel_- A good goody clumsy girl that has angel powers. She says sorry all the time and is a really kind person. She gets kidnapped a lot and is very jealous of Sheena and Raines Big breasts. She is the chosen of Sylvarant.

_Genis Sage_- A smart ass boy that knows every thing. Every thing about Presea is cute to him and hates it when people pair him up with Mithos. He likes to make fun of Lloyd about his stupidity and that the chance that he might become his uncle one day.

_Raine Sage_- Genis' older sister and a teacher. Like her brother, she is a half elf, and kills any one that insults her. Students called her a child abused because she throws things at her students, Especially Lloyd. She has a secret talent of singing and she as loves old things like temples, fossils, and Kratos. Beware of her deadly cooking.

_Kratos Aurion_- A cool, handsome, mysterious, to good for you mercenary with great strength. He is one of the four great heroes of the kharlan war that took place about four thousand years ago. He really likes coffee and hates tomatoes. He has a lot of secrets like the diary he carries around with him, but there is some thing else about this guy….

_Presea Combatir_- A once emo now high happy girl that kills people with an ax. She has high intelligence and brute strength. She makes most men look useless. She sister had a relation ship with Regal before she was killed buy him.

_Sheena Fujibayashi_- A summonor/ninja with really big breasts. She has the ability to summon spirits and fight with cards. She and Raine seem to argue at times. She nicknames Zelos stupid chosen and idiot.

_Zelos wilder_- A woman loving man with secret emotional problems. He tries to act happy all the time. He is an angel like Colette and is the chosen of Tethe'alla. She calls all women hunny and is very fond of Sheena. People love to braid his hair. At first many mistake him as a woman.

_Regal Bryant_- Used to be convict. He turned him self in after he kills Preseas sister, Alicia at her own request. He is a really good cook and is best buds with the wonder chef. She took of the hand cuffs he wore after the regeneration of the world.

_Mithos Yggdrsial_- hero of the karlan war. After his sisters death her went crazy and tried to resurrect her. It didn't work. He looks like he could be Colette's sister. When he is brought back to life, Lloyds group forgives him for almost destroying the world. He likes to act innocent and take frequent visits to S.E. Abby.

_Yuan No Last Name_- Yuan is one of the four heroes of the kharlan war. He is also a handsome angel that was engaged to Martel, the mana spirit of the world. He and Mithos eventually begin to get along.

_Martel Yggdrsial_- One of the four heroes of the karlan war. She was killed during the war. She is a very kind loving Goddess and people worship every thing about her including the ground she walks on. Literately. She likes nature and is engaged to Yuan. She becomes good friends with Raine. How is she brought back to life?

_Seles Wilder ?-_Zelos' sister and a half elf. She pretends to hate every ones guts. Especially Zelos but she cares deeply about him. She has a strange sickness and has to be locked away in S.E. Abby for her own protection. She may seem weak but she has good Sword skills and Ice magic. She meets Mithos when she runs away from the abbey.

_Noishe_- A dog like thing that is traveled with the heroes of the Great karlan war. He is actually an ancient animal called a protozoan. He Gives Lloyd a heart attack when he starts to talk. His personality is surprising.

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**_--Tales of symphonia; Dawn of the New World character appearances are still pending._**

**_--More characters from Tales of Symphonia may come in._**

**_--Chapter 1 will come out soon._**

**_--Leave reviews. X3_**


	2. Classroom drama?

**--Yay! Chapter one is up at last. Prepare for nonsense! By the way, Lloyd is called an Idiot a lot but I don't have anything against him!**

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_Long ago, Sylvarant and Tethe'alla were united as a single world that drew strength from the Ultra mega super sized Kharlan Tree. Divine intervention tore them apart, however, and the Tree withered and died. It was eventually left to an Idiot named Lloyd and his Side kicks to restore the world to its true form. At his journey's end, a new Tree was planted to replace the Ultra mega super sized Kharlan Tree and to hold the two worlds together. This was the story of the Journey of Regeneration._

It was like any other normal school day in small town of Iselia. Every thing was normal now that the world had be regenerated. No more freaky desians. No more human ranches. No more evil thousand year old angels trying to turn every one in to lifeless beings. Yep every thing was normal, or so it seemed.

"Lloyd Aurion! Wake up!" Yelled the half eleven teacher as she threw a sick of chalk at Lloyds forehead. It was so strange how it always hit him in the same exact place. It was also strange that no one called on the child protective services to take the so called abusive teacher away.

Why didn't any one do it? Lloyd thought of this often, which would be a major surprise since he barley ever thinks. And he always came up with the same reasons why no one called professor Raine Sage a child abuser.

1. She was his best friends sister. Genis would be pathetic with out her.

2. She was hot.

3. She was the only person in both worlds that would have the patience to teach him.

4. And most important reason of all…..She was hot.

Those where the best reason he could think of. But he had also been wondering about some thing else too. Why the hell dose she call him Lloyd Aruion? Sure it was true that he real father was a dead sexy four thousand year old angel that moved away to live alone on another planet known as derris Kharlan. But So What? It was so weird being called Lloyd Aurion.

"Lloyd! Are you even listening to me!" Raine said as she glared at Lloyd; annoyed.

"Yeah I'm listening. I'm listening!" Lloyd said. "hey I was wondering…Why do you call me Aurion….?" Lloyd asked curiously.

Raine sighed. "I will tell you after class why."

"REALLY!!"

"No…"

There was a snicker from the other side of the class room.

"Genis would you like to say some thing?" Raine said as she turned to her little brother.

"I LOVE YOU RAINE!"

"….That's what I thought. Now Colette with you please wright the math equation on the chalk board."

"Yes professor!" Replied the blond angel as she stood up to walk to the chalk board but tripped.

"COLETTE!! OH MY GOD COLETTE!!" Lloyd shouted as he dashed out of his chair and ran over to Colette knocking over Raine in the process.

"LLOYD!"

"COLETTE!"

"IM SORRY!"

"GENIS!" Genis yelled as he leaped out of his seat. Every one turned their attention to Genis. "….Sorry…" He said as he sat back down with a blush on his face.

Raine got off of the floor and just as she was about to smack Lloyd….

"RABIES!!" Shouted one of the jerk teenagers in the class.

"AHHH" Lloyd shouted and dropped Colette and ran out off the class room knocking over Raine again.

"LLOYD AURION GET BACK HERE. I Swear….you run off just like him…." Raine said as she crossed her arms angrily.

"Great…" Genis said rolling his eyes. "Now she going to take it out on us."

"Well maybe if we are good she won't!" Colette said with that cheerful smile of hers.

"When are we ever good?"

"Im good…."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah! Yeah! Really!"

"Are you good in bed?" Genis asks as he raised his eyebrows slightly.

"LITTLE KID RAPE!!" Colette shirked as she ran out of the class room in horror.

"DAMN IT GENIS!" Raine said angrily. "Now I have to get both of them back…"

"Sorry…I was just kidding. Colette is weird."

"What ever Genis." Raine said rolling her eyes. It would be best to stop class early so I can go after Lloyd and Colette." Raine picked up her ruler and tapped it against her desk. "Class dismissed." With that every one ran out of the small class room; most kids leaving their home work. Raine sighed. She wasn't even going to bother at the moment. She would just give every one a zero home work grade. "Come on Genis we have to go save Lloyd and Colette from total humiliation." She said opening the door that lead to out side.

"Awww…." Genis whined. "Do we have too? Watching the humiliate them selves will be funny!"

"Yes we have too, or I will be blamed for their idiotic behavior….No come on."

"But sis…? I want to know the same thing too as Lloyd. Why do you call him Aurion, and not Irving?" Genis asked curiously. He too like many other have been pondering over this thought.

Raine sighed. "If you honestly want to know then fine I will tell you but don't tell any one. I will be the one to tell Lloyd. Got it?"

Genis nodded.

"You know that past event with Dirk right…?"

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_FLASH BACK_

_It was a pleasant sunny day and the group went on a picnic. They went to an ocean side cliff. The people present where Lloyd, Colette, Genis, Raine, and Dirk, Lloyds foster dwarf father. Raine sat under a near by tree reading, Lloyd, Colette, and Genis where playing kick ball, and dirk stood by the cliff looking at the wonderful view._

_It was Colette's turn to kick the ball. She ran up to the ball stumbling a few times as she ran. When she finally reached the ball she tried to kick it, but as she lifted her leg her shoe flew off and she fell on her back. Every one gasped and watched as the shoe flew thorough the air towards Dirk._

_"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lloyd cried as he ran towards Dirk._

_Raine closed her eyes not wanting to watch. Genis was silent staring watching the scene and Colette was already crying, but when it seemed that Lloyd was going to make it to Dirk in time before the shoe would hit him and cause him to fall off the cliff Raine, Colette, and Genis sighed in relief. He was the all great hero and stuff. Right?_

_Lloyd ran over to Dirk, and pushed him causing him to fall off the cliff. Lloyd reached up and caught Colette's shoe. "Hey Colette I got your shoe! Nice timing right?!" Lloyd said with a cheesy smile._

_Colette, Raine, and Genis stared at Lloyd in total surprise with their mouths wide open._

_"Did he just push Dirk off a cliff to save Colette's shoe…?" Genis whispered to Raine._

_She nodded._

_END OF FLASH BACK_

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"Yeah I remember that." Genis said.

Well…" Raine began. "Lloyd is not responsible enough to take care of him self so we need a guardian for him…"

"But he is almost nineteen…"

"Remember I said responsible…So that's why I sent a letter to Kratos; asking him to come back to take care of his son."

"Ohhhh….Well Why can't we take care of him. You're already like a mother to him."

"Us take care of Lloyd? No. I can't do that. Its to much work having a kid. Your bad enough."

Genis went silent for a minute. "….Wait a minute! You're just getting Kratos to come back so you can see him again! You don't care shit about Lloyd!"

"Genis Sage Take that back before I beat you to hell. I-I Would never do that to see Kratos again."

"OH REALLY!?"

"Really…"

"OH REALLY!?"

"Really…"

"OH REALLY?!"

"Genis! Really! Lloyd just needs some one to take care of him! No shut up and lets go!"

"…Fine." Genis said rolling his eyes and walked out the door following Raine.

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**--Yeah that sucked but what ever XD More chapters will be up soon. Leave nice reviews X3**

**--Ps I might put The Tales of Symphonia Dawn of the New World chracters in too X3**


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